Loving You However I Can
by AngelLucifel
Summary: Oneshot about a night Kabuto spends with Orochimaru and the confession of his feelings. This is an old piece of mine. Warning: YAOI! GUYGUY ACTION don't like it? DON'T read this. R&R I don't own Naruto


Loving You However I Can

Kabuto clutched Orochimaru's shoulders tightly in his grasp. The black-haired man was kissing him passionately down the neck, leaving the sensitive skin wet and tingling. Their own sweat was lubricating the motion of Orochimaru grinding against him, the writhing motion exciting every nerve of Kabuto's body and making him long ever more for the moment when his lord and master would take him fully, and the moment he could feel for one second like there was some requital of his love for the glorious man on top of him. And he did love him. Ever so much.

_But you'll never know. Or if you do, you'll never care. Love means nothing to you…isn't that how you feel? But hasn't my love meant something? _

Kabuto moaned as Orochimaru's tongue flickered over his collarbone, and then he starting moving down to his chest, biting at his nipples teasingly as he went. The healer's hands still gripping Orochimaru's shoulders, clutching desperately onto the tangible hold to keep himself steady under the intense feelings of pleasure and excitement.

_Oh my love. If only you could understand how much I love you. How much I've tried to show you over the long years of service. _

Orochimaru pulled down the top of Kabuto's pants and gently kissed the head of his erection before swallowing the whole length into his mouth and starting to suck, and nip, and lick…

_From the moment I saw you, in all your glory and power, I was in love with you. I tried to show you that love in any way possible, and that's what spurred my loyalty for you. As my love for you never faltered, so too, did my loyalty stay firm, through anything that happened_

After just long enough to bring incredibly close to orgasm, but not quite far enough, Orochimaru moved back up his body, licking and kissing a path back to his face, Kabuto's hands still gripping tightly onto those powerful shoulders, unable to let go, desperate to hold on.

_And so, whenever your faith in my loyalty faltered I felt like somewhere in that part of you that knew I cared, you were also doubting my love, and the absolute horror of that feeling made me ever more devoted. _

Orochimaru reached Kabuto's mouth and he kissed him long and hard on his pale, gentle mouth, his long tongue slipping in and out and wrestling with Kabuto's with all the skill he showed on the battlefield. Kabuto kissed him back desperately, every flick of his tongue, every snip of his lips, every press of his mouth, all fueled with absolute, burning ardor that he gave to Orochimaru in a desperate attempt to show him some small ounce of his love.

_If there is any way for me to tell you in a way you'll appreciate, I would fall upon it in a second. _

Orochimaru turned him over and pulled his hips towards him as first he gently prodded against, and then pushed into Kabuto's ready opening.

_If somehow through this physical incorporation of my loyalty and love, you can know how I feel, I beg and pray for you to see it, and understand how much it means. _

As the incredible, wonderful, painful feeling seared through his body Kabuto hissed out a cry and his back arched, as Orochimaru pushed harder and deeper, coming back and jamming forward, every thrust getting stronger, harder, more feverishly excited. It felt so good, so beyond what he had ever imagined, to have Orochimaru wanting him so much. He had always wanted Kabuto's expertise, and his skills, but that could have been anyone with the same skills. This felt different, like his master wanted _him_. His body, and only his, like he was the only one Orochimaru wanted. He was sure there were others; in fact, he had always suspected Kimimaro was having such relations with their master, but for this night, it was he, only he, that his darling, beloved, lord and master wanted in his arms, and he could fill them in all willingness.

_For now and any time you ever need me, my lord, my love, I will be here to fill your wants and arms. Always I will be ready to be your servant in any way you ask. Forever, my loyalty and love are yours to have and use as you please. _

Kabuto cried out as Orochimaru pushed even deeper into him, further than he ever had and held it hard at that point of ecstasy, and after a few painful, wonderful seconds of the feeling of his master deep inside him Orochimaru came as Kabuto did, and then he pulled out, the two of them falling back to the bed and lying next to each other in the now rather dirty sheets.

Orochimaru laid resting, eyes closed and Kabuto turned around so he could see his face. Tenderly he reached out and stroked Orochimaru's cheek. The sannin purred in pleasure and rubbed into the touch. Kabuto leaned forward and kissed the thin, pale lips sweetly. When he pulled back Orochimaru's eyes were open again, and he was smirking at him in his usual manner. Kabuto felt himself blushing; he hadn't blushed under that gaze in a long time. Orochimaru reached forward, and took Kabuto's face in his hands, cupping it gingerly and then he kissed him long and softly, no hard passion, no sexual undertones, all it was, was the kiss, sweet and simple. And that sweet and simple kiss meant more, and excited him more, than anything else Orochimaru had done all night. It made him so happy so fulfilled that when Orochimaru pulled back he felt the words slip out of his mouth.

"I love you."

The words hung in the air indefinitely, ringing in Kabuto's ears in the eerie way that made him unsure if he had actually heard them. He knew he had, but his own inability to accept it that made him think that maybe, somehow, he hadn't.

"Do you really?" Orochimaru said with a small laugh.

Blushing worse than ever, Kabuto buried his head down against the pillows. "Yes."

There were a few long seconds where no words passed between them, and Kabuto was too scared to spare a glance Orochimaru's face, but abruptly Orochimaru's arms were around him and holding him close.

"Well, that's nice." He said softly.

Something in the way he said it, he wasn't dismissing it, but he wasn't guzzling it up, it wasn't in his nature to excitedly accept any happy feelings that came his way. However, Kabuto felt somehow, that it wasn't like he was uncaring about the feeling, perhaps he had known all along, always knowing that Kabuto's loyalty was rooted in such passionate feelings. Or even if he hadn't always known, now that he did it was merely something he accepted simply, as it was.

W_hy did I hide it to begin with? I should have known it would change nothing, that my loyalty would not change, nor would your faith in me. And, whether you know or not, it will not change. I shall always continue loving you…however I can. _

**A/N: Oh my, this is old...and little embarrassing. It's one of the few explicitly yaoi storie II've ever written...which may surprise some people. but yeah, this isn't very good, it's old, but I stil like the idea and Orochimaru's reaction to Kabuto's confession. :)**


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